As many of you know, I attended a conference last October sponsored by the Episcopal Church Pension Fund. The title of the conference is Credo. Basically, it had the participants examine our health, not just our physical health but also our spiritual, vocational, and financial well being. At the end of the conference, we were to devise our individual “Credo Plan.” One of my goals is to “be thankful - to be a woman who unabashedly gives thanks to God for all the blessings in my life.” I have several steps outlined to draw me more closely to my goal. Part of my plan is to deal with my fears. When I came across this parable by Henri Nouwen, I found it helpful and challenging.

(Quotes in italics from The Road to Peace
by Henri Nouwen, 1998)

Once there was a people that surveyed the resources of the world, and they said to each other, “How can we be sure that we will have enough in hard times? We want to survive whatever happens. Let us start collecting food, materials and knowledge so that we are safe and secure when a crisis occurs.” So they started hoarding and hoarding, so much that other people protested and said, “Hey, you have much more than you need, while we don’t have enough to survive. Give us part of your wealth."

But the fearful hoarders said, “No, no, no, we need to keep this in case of emergencies, in case things go bad for us too, in case our lives are threatened."

Time passed, and then the others said, “We are dying now. Please give us food and materials and knowledge to survive. We can’t wait. We need it now."

And then the fearful hoarders became even more fearful, because they were afraid that the poor and hungry would attack them. So they said to one another, “Let us build walls around our wealth so that no stranger can take it away from us.” And thus they started erecting walls so high that they could not see any more whether there were enemies outside or not. And as their fear increased they told each other, “Our enemies have become so numerous that they may be able to tear down our walls. Our walls are not strong enough to keep them away. We need to place bombs on top of the walls so that nobody will dare to even come close to us."

But instead of feeling safe and secure behind their armed walls, they found themselves trapped in the prison they had built with their own fear. They even became afraid of their own bombs, wondering if they might harm themselves more than their enemy. And gradually they realized that their fear of death had brought them closer to it.

This short parable was written by the late Dutch priest Henri Nouwen. It expresses what was one of the most poignant characteristics that stood out to him as he traveled the United States - that is how afraid people are, how much our view of the world (and not incidentally our view of God) is defined by fear. Yes, there is poverty in our country. There is abundance of God’s love and grace here, too. Then what are we afraid of?

But, as Nouwen reminds us, the Gospels often speak to fear. Whether in the angel’s words to Zechariah (Luke 1:13), or to Joseph (Matthew 1:20), or in Gabriel’s exhortation to Mary (Luke 1:30), or in the shepherds’ field where the “good news” was proclaimed (Luke 2:10), in the angel’s speech to the women at the empty tomb (Matthew 28:5, Mark 16:6), or in the words of Jesus himself when he appeared to his disciples, the message for us is the same: “Do not be afraid, it is I” (Matthew 14.27, Mark 6:50, John 6:20 or Matthew 28:10).

The invitation of Christ is the invitation to move out of the house of fear and into the house of love: to move away out of that place of imprisonment into a place of freedom…Throughout the Old and New Testaments we see that invitation: “Oh, how much I desire to dwell in the house of the Lord. The Lord is my refuge, the Lord is my dwelling place, the Lord is my tent, the Lord is my safety.” “Where do you live?” the disciples ask. “Come and see,” the Lord says. And they stayed with him. The word became flesh and pitched its tent among us in the house of love.

As Nouwen states it, this movement away from the house of fear to the house of love - away from a theology of scarcity to a theology of abundance - is where peace begins.

You and I will always be scared somehow, somewhere. But if we keep our eyes fixed on the One who says “Do not be afraid, it is I,” we might slowly be able to let go of that fear and become free enough to live in a world without borders, to see the suffering of others, and to bring good news and receive good news.

For me the challenges of moving from a theology of scarcity into a theology of abundance have me facing some of my deepest insecurities of my soul, out of the loneliest feelings of alienation and abandonment that have been nibbling away at the blessings that have been bestowed on me by our Creator.

"Only those who deeply know that they are loved and rejoice in that love can be true peacemakers” because “Peacemakers are those who give away, not only from their abundance but from the little that they have. And they discover that all people are God’s people and all people belong in the house of love."

So if you hear a voice quietly saying out loud what she is thankful for during the Prayers of the People that hopefully will be me. I am thankful for so many people and things in my life. I am especially thankful for the love this parish generously gives.